The Liminal Space That Is Right Now - Are You Feeling It?

If you have ever watched the TV series, Stranger Things, you know about the “upside down.”

Since the pandemic I find myself working with more and more people feeling like they are living in the “In between.” A couple of words that fit this “in between” are liminal and interregnum. Both describe a space between two points. The more popular term is “liminal.”

Liminal space can occur on the mental, physical, emotional or spiritual planes of our lives.   

Where are you?

I have noticed that people are “in between” careers, career and retirement, decisions, houses, relationships (at some level), or other two points.  In this liminal space of life it is the experience of not being absolutely clear on where you are headed, but you know you aren’t staying where you are.

People are expressing how “weird” things are right now. It’s not necessarily a good or bad judgment call – it is just an observation. Some have a quality of good or bad on it, and others are just noticing. The economy certainly seems liminal right now.

The struggle of the in between

I have been feeling a shift for quite some time now myself. There is this dynamic of what used to work, no longer does. That has been going on for quite some time. However, there is a wind of change if you will that is sweeping across the landscape of our lives taking with it the things that no longer work. Not always a pleasant experience because with that comes change. It changes your identity, how you see yourself and this is where humans struggle.

The shifting is going on in organizations and individuals. A feeling of purging and organizing, a need for new order and purpose. I have been in this mode for awhile now as well.

Wars, conflict, uncertainty, finding qualified employees and anything else you want to throw into the anxiety soup is present. It is not an ending – it is just the interregnum or liminal space that comes before the next clear path.

Liminal impact on mental health

The struggle with being “in between” is that it also brings uncertainty. I need not point out how the pandemic brought uncertainty. The thing about uncertainty is that it is always here, it is just that we can see it more prominently now.

Humans dislike uncertainty because it can’t be measured or controlled. We are control freaks to varying levels. We can’t help it because we are hardwired this way.

Unfortunately, this living in the liminal can bring mental health challenges for a myriad of reasons.

Being “in between” means you are facing a new space in life, most likely one you’ve not been to.  This causes you to change how you see yourself, your self-identity. If the place you want to be requires a different version of you, say stepping into leadership, a new position or career, or even a new location physically – this causes an inner turmoil that challenges confidence, creativity, and clarity of daily direction. Many couples are experiencing this dynamic in their relationships.

The risk to mental health here is the inner dialogue that can become a sticking point. We all have an inner story or dialogue running all of the time. I mean, if your mind went blank, how would you know?

I digress…The inner dialogue is one that says things like, “I’m not: good enough, talented, young enough, smart or educated enough…”you get the idea here. All of the confidence killers like to chime in and you convince yourself that you can’t move for untrue reasons. Procrastination can also take root here.

Being stuck in the liminal space takes a toll on you emotionally, mentally, and physically. Depression, anxiety, and adjustment issues surface. This doesn’t mean you are broken or morally failing. It means you are human and in a new time in our developing history. Experiencing a mental health challenge is no different than spraining your ankle. For some reason, humans tell themselves that the brain cannot be “sprained.” So you limp along keeping yourself in a holding pattern of uncertainty and eventually, fear.

The paradigm of do more to get more is disempowering. Consider the mantra of, “less is more.” The more you struggle and rail against the uncertainty only creates more struggle. Practice relaxation because a relaxed brain is a creative brain and more likely to bring clarity and creativity to the situation at hand.

What to do if you are in a liminal space or interregnum right now?

• Learn to be comfortable in your “uncomfortableness” by reframing the experience into one of experimentation, curiosity, creativity and transformation.
• Change the inner dialogue or at least lower the volume and ask yourself empowering questions instead of the dead end questions like, “What if…” unless you have a positive end to the “what if.”
• Develop new physical habits of mental quiet and calmness. Notice how I stated it as “physical” habits of “mental” quiet. Walking, running, meditation (which is an activity of stillness,)  horseback riding (my personal favorite,) or anything that puts you in your zone of quiet inner environment. Bottom line - if your body is relaxed, your brain has to follow suit.
• Remember when you overcame a past interregnum or liminal space. Maybe you haven’t thought of a past situation as such, but remember the energy you felt when you went through it and came out on the other side. Lay that energy over your current situation. Remember the old saying, "This too shall pass."
• Give your thoughts and process a place to land. I like to read inspirational books in the morning first thing and then jot my thoughts down in a journal. Give your brain a place to park it’s processing. It is helpful to have your thoughts and ideas down. You will want to reference back to those great ideas at some point.
• Release control and fear. Easier said than done because the busy mind wants to point out looming catastrophe. Mark Twain said, “I have lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” Ask yourself, “What are my assumptions in this situation and what solid evidence do I have proving them to be true?”
• Recognize when you need help and be willing to ask for it. There is nothing wrong with getting treatment for a sprained ankle. Getting help to get out of your own way so that you can move along in that liminal space gives you energy and new opportunities to grow into a new person and a new life that you never imagined possible.

I’ve been helping individuals move through their interregnums or liminal spaces for over 23 years as a coach and therapist. I have many tools like Performance EMDR, Emotional Intelligence, CliftonStrengths® and Equine Assisted Learning among many others in the toolbox.

Are you feeling it?

If you are feeling it, let’s have a chat about it.

If you know you are ready to leap through this liminal space for clarity and confidence – the next 48 Hour Breakthrough™ is November 6 & 7. We have four seats open and would love to help you take the leap to freedom. Check it out www.48HourBreakthrough.com